What’s Your Penguin Name


You know what your West Indian cricketers name is, now, thanks to my almost sister, Heidi, you can find out your penguin name. Just take the first letter of your first name, the first letter your middle name (if you’re lucky enough to have one) and the first letter of your surname and then check the list below and see what you come up with. Mine comes out as “Blubbers Blubberbuns-Fancyflippers” (I have a double-barrelled surname).

Letter of your
Given (First) Name
Letter of your
Second Given (Middle) Name
First letter of your
Family (Last) Name
A Pecky A – M Mc A Flapperson
B Chubbers N – Z Von B Waddlebottom
C Beaky C Flapdoodle
D Fishbreath D Hoppington
E Fuzzbutt E Beakerson
F Bigbeak F Squeakybeak
G Pebbles G Krillington
H Fishcakes H Featherbottom
I Tumtums I Beakington
J Shrimpy J Rolypoly
K Featherface K Bellyflop
L Honkers L Peckington
M Blubbers M Pecksalot
N Squawky N Squidbreath
O Waddles O Squawksalot
P Puddles P Fancyflippers
Q Squidhead Q Hopsalot
R Flippers R Flappyfeet
S Fishface S Blubberbuns
T Squeaks T Pebblepincher
U Hoppy U Wigglefeet
V Wobbles V Flapperton
W Flappity W Snowballs
X Chinstrap X Swimmington
Y Feathers Y Flipperston
Z Stubby Z Slippyslide
Published in: on Monday, June 2nd, 2014 at 4:05 pm  Leave a Comment  
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What’s Your West Indian Cricketer Name?


There’s been “What’s your pirate name?”, “What’s your porn name?” and “What’s your Native American name?”, now you can find your West Indian cricketer’s name. Here’s how.

Take the surname of the US President on the day you where born, then add the name of the last British seaside resort you visited.

I realise that this is geared more to the UK, but non-British resorts could come up with some fairly exotic names.

Just to help you out, here’s a list of US Presidential terms from William McKinley (for our very older readers) to Barack Obama.

Barack Obama January 20, 2009
George W. Bush January 20, 2001 January 20, 2009
Bill Clinton January 20, 1993 January 20, 2001
George H. W. Bush January 20, 1989 January 20, 1993
Ronald Reagan January 20, 1981 January 20, 1989
Jimmy Carter January 20, 1977 January 20, 1981
Gerald Ford August 9, 1974 January 20, 1977
Richard Nixon January 20, 1969 August 9, 1974
Lyndon B. Johnson November 22, 1963 January 20, 1969
John F. Kennedy January 20, 1961 November 22, 1963
Dwight D. Eisenhower January 20, 1953 January 20, 1961
Harry S. Truman April 12, 1945 January 20, 1953
Franklin D. Roosevelt March 4, 1933 April 12, 1945
Herbert Hoover March 4, 1929 March 4, 1933
Calvin Coolidge August 2, 1923 March 4, 1929
Warren G. Harding March 4, 1921 August 2, 1923
Woodrow Wilson March 4, 1913 March 4, 1921
William Howard Taft March 4, 1909 March 4, 1913
Theodore Roosevelt September 14, 1901 March 4, 1909
William McKinley March 4, 1897 September 14, 1901

For the record my cricketer’s name is Eisenhower Aberporth.

Who is Jack Schitt? The Lineage Revealed.

Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says, “You don’t know Jack Schitt”. Now, You can handle the situation.

Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Knee-Deep Schitt, Inc.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt and the deeply religious couple produced 6 children: Holie Schitt, The twins; Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt and Bull Schitt, a high school dropout.

After being married for 15 years Jack and Noe divorced. Noe later married Mr. Sherlock and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.

Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a cowardly son, Chicken Schitt.

Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable throughout childhood and consequently, married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The Schitt-Happens children are Dawg, Byrd and Horse.

Bull Schitt the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned with his new bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now, when someone says you don’t know Jack Schitt, you can correct them.

Published in: on Friday, September 17th, 2010 at 7:07 am  Leave a Comment  
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Matthew Zapf’s “Introduction to Philosophical Logic”

I heard this on a comedy programme on Radio 4 and thought I’d share it transcript with you.

This week we continue our look at basic propositions and the validity, or otherwise, of the conclusions we may be tempted to draw from them.

Previously, you may recall, we started with the proposition, “all schnauzers look like Nietzsche” and also the logical implication of adding the secondary statements, “Wolfie is a schnauzer” and “Wolfie looks like Nietzsche”.

Let’s now examine a third case where the secondary proposition is “Wolfie does not look like Nietzsche”. What can we now conclude?

Since looking like Nietzsche is an intrinsic part of what we have called, “Scnausarity”, we can categorically conclude the Wolfie is not a schnauzer, since if he was, he would look like Nietzsche, as laid down in our initial proposition.

However, with a secondary proposition “Wolfie looks like Wittgenstein” can we draw the same conclusion?

It’s tempting, but that would be fatuitous, unless we include a third proposition along the lines of “Wolfie does not look like Nietzsche” or in more philosophical language, “looking like Wolfie is a sufficient condition of not looking like Nietzsche” in which case the conclusion is sound, since by looking like Wittgenstein, we now know that Wolfie cannot also look like Nietzsche and if he doesn’t look like Nietzsche, he can’t be a schnauzer, our initial definition of Scnausarity precludes it.

Having sent this transcript to my local Doctor of Philosophy, he checked the findings and replied:

Basically using Aristotilean syllogisms that is correct.

All As are Bs

X is an A

Therefore X is a B

However, this does not allow for

X is a C

Therefore X is not an A

As the class of A may be wider than just containing B and contain C as well.

This, of course, is what I thought too but it’s good to get a second opinion.

Further to my post here, my Dr. of Phil., R. U. Ready, sent me this via email.

… remember, Aristotelian logic has now been replaced by the Propositional and Predicate calculus. Namely, if an A is a B, and a B is a C, then an A is a C.

I hope that that has cleared up any questions some of you may have concerning Dr. Ready’s use of Aristotilean syllogisms previously.

Published in: on Monday, September 6th, 2010 at 6:55 am  Comments (4)  
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