What’s Your Penguin Name

You know what your West Indian cricketers name is, now, thanks to my almost sister, Heidi, you can find out your penguin name. Just take the first letter of your first name, the first letter your middle name (if you’re lucky enough to have one) and the first letter of your surname and then check the list below and see what you come up with. Mine comes out as “Blubbers Blubberbuns-Fancyflippers” (I have a double-barrelled surname).

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Letter of your Given (First) Name			Letter of your Second Given (Middle) Name			First letter of your Family (Last) Name
A	Pecky		A – M	Mc		A	Flapperson
B	Chubbers		N – Z	Von		B	Waddlebottom
C	Beaky					C	Flapdoodle
D	Fishbreath					D	Hoppington
E	Fuzzbutt					E	Beakerson
F	Bigbeak					F	Squeakybeak
G	Pebbles					G	Krillington
H	Fishcakes					H	Featherbottom
I	Tumtums					I	Beakington
J	Shrimpy					J	Rolypoly
K	Featherface					K	Bellyflop
L	Honkers					L	Peckington
M	Blubbers					M	Pecksalot
N	Squawky					N	Squidbreath
O	Waddles					O	Squawksalot
P	Puddles					P	Fancyflippers
Q	Squidhead					Q	Hopsalot
R	Flippers					R	Flappyfeet
S	Fishface					S	Blubberbuns
T	Squeaks					T	Pebblepincher
U	Hoppy					U	Wigglefeet
V	Wobbles					V	Flapperton
W	Flappity					W	Snowballs
X	Chinstrap					X	Swimmington
Y	Feathers					Y	Flipperston
Z	Stubby					Z	Slippyslide

What’s Your West Indian Cricketer Name?

There’s been “What’s your pirate name?”, “What’s your porn name?” and “What’s your Native American name?”, now you can find your West Indian cricketer’s name. Here’s how.

Take the surname of the US President on the day you where born, then add the name of the last British seaside resort you visited.

I realise that this is geared more to the UK, but non-British resorts could come up with some fairly exotic names.

Just to help you out, here’s a list of US Presidential terms from William McKinley (for our very older readers) to Barack Obama.

Barack Obama	January 20, 2009
George W. Bush	January 20, 2001	January 20, 2009
Bill Clinton	January 20, 1993	January 20, 2001
George H. W. Bush	January 20, 1989	January 20, 1993
Ronald Reagan	January 20, 1981	January 20, 1989
Jimmy Carter	January 20, 1977	January 20, 1981
Gerald Ford	August 9, 1974	January 20, 1977
Richard Nixon	January 20, 1969	August 9, 1974
Lyndon B. Johnson	November 22, 1963	January 20, 1969
John F. Kennedy	January 20, 1961	November 22, 1963
Dwight D. Eisenhower	January 20, 1953	January 20, 1961
Harry S. Truman	April 12, 1945	January 20, 1953
Franklin D. Roosevelt	March 4, 1933	April 12, 1945
Herbert Hoover	March 4, 1929	March 4, 1933
Calvin Coolidge	August 2, 1923	March 4, 1929
Warren G. Harding	March 4, 1921	August 2, 1923
Woodrow Wilson	March 4, 1913	March 4, 1921
William Howard Taft	March 4, 1909	March 4, 1913
Theodore Roosevelt	September 14, 1901	March 4, 1909
William McKinley	March 4, 1897	September 14, 1901

For the record my cricketer’s name is Eisenhower Aberporth.

Schome Mishtake Shurely?

As seen outside a pizza restaurant in Swansea.

Their puddings must be really dry and some seem to be served with barbecue sauce!

Who is Jack Schitt? The Lineage Revealed.

Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says, “You don’t know Jack Schitt”. Now, You can handle the situation.

Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Knee-Deep Schitt, Inc.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt and the deeply religious couple produced 6 children: Holie Schitt, The twins; Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt and Bull Schitt, a high school dropout.

After being married for 15 years Jack and Noe divorced. Noe later married Mr. Sherlock and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.

Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a cowardly son, Chicken Schitt.

Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable throughout childhood and consequently, married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The Schitt-Happens children are Dawg, Byrd and Horse.

Bull Schitt the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned with his new bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now, when someone says you don’t know Jack Schitt, you can correct them.